I have an announcement to make… And no doubt judging by the title you have already put 2 and 2 together and come up with wedding bells:
yes that’s right, Gary and I are engaged!!
The proposal was relaxed, romantic and very Gary!
But i’m going to spoil the fantasy of grandure and the ultimate surprise…
I knew it was going to happen, in fact I practically forced Gary into it.
Now let’s just remind you of the title of this post!
So here’s our story: Gary and I, like many couples talked about our future, what we wanted out of life and our plans for that future together.
We have been saving for a house for the last year, and had decided that we would rather get married after we bought our home.
We have entered a help to buy scheme, which only allows you to put a certain amount of money in the account per month,although we are not desperate to move from our flat, we realised that it was going to take us a lot longer than we anticipated to physically save and get the extra support from the government.
So over this time the topic of marriage and weddings came about, which was thoroughly encouraged by Gary’s family.
“So when are you 2 going to get engaged?”
“I need anew wedding to look forward to.”
At this time we both explained that we would rather aim for owning our own home, but we probably would be engaged by the time we bought the house.
And the questions kept coming…
“Are you engaged yet.”
“Has Gary popped the question?”
And that was it for me.
I’m an extremely obsessive person, and my depression exacerbates that.
I dropped some, ok a lot of not so subtle hints, even asking Gary outright when he was going to propose.
Everything was met with love and a lot of sarcasm.
This went on for a few months before I demanded that I wanted to be married by the time i was 29, so Gary had 3 years to propose.
Yes, I am crazy!
And when Gary called me crazy, I would just respond with.
“Yes I am. Crazy in love with you!!”
And we carried on in this merry dance for a while longer.
But my depression and obsessive thoughts got the better of me. I started to believe that Gary didn’t want to marry me at all.
I started to ruminate on our previous conversations, fall outs and arguments and convinced myself that I was far too much hard work for Gary and of course he wasn’t going to commit to someone who causes arguments, and over reacts all of the time.
Gary started to notice my drop in communication and introspective attitude and urged me to talk to him.
We talked and I opened up,. Sharing my thoughts of his attitude towards marriage. Or what I thought they might be.
I was truly upset and Gary cuddled and reassured me that all the thoughts I had were my depression talking, and he explained that he wanted to marry me. but there was no rush. He loved me and he was building a life with me and Ida, and he was going nowhere.
I was comforted by his prisons, his words and his love.
It was about a week later when my depressive thoughts started to bombard me again.
They didn’t consume me as before, but I knew for my own piece of mind I had to speak with Gary again about marriage, and the proposal.
I breached the subject as we were laying in bed one night.
Gary was honest but hesitant and I knew there was something he wasn’t telling me.
I asked him out right, that aside from my depressive episodes and continuous chatting about marriage. Was he worried that if he proposed sooner rather than later, was he worry i’ll go into an obsessive frenzy and plan the wedding for as soon as possible?
And that’s what it was all about.
He was concerned that asking me to marry him would result in me obsessing and wanting to be married straight away.
I explained that my obsessive nature was always going to be there, and as I love to plan things, I would rope him into love wedding planning. But for me, it was about the security and knowledge that he wanted to be with me forever.
I explained that I would prefer a long engagement because it meant that I could take my time in organising things and asking for help.
And that’s when he and I fully understood each others thoughts and intentions.
I wanted him to propose for the peace of mind it would give my negative thoughts, not because I wanted to plan a wedding and be married by the next month.
Gary wanted to get married, but not straight away. His biggest concern was doing things wrong, and not getting the proposal right.
So now I’ve beaten him into submission, time to get that ring on my finger!! 🙂
I got a random text one day as i was hanging out with my friend:
“Get bigger fingers”
“I’ll try but I don’t think it’ll work.”
Cue the excited squeals of delight from Ellie and I!!
A few days later the 3 of us went shopping, Ellie and I decided to sit and wait while Gary went into a shop or 2 on his own.
10 minutes later…
“Can you come with me? The lady in the shop needs to talk to you.”
“So the lady in the shop doesn’t believe your ring finger size, she wants to measure it.”
Get’s ring finger measured, lady finally believes Gary.
“I think Gary is buying me an engagement ring!!”
“Exciting!! I thought that was the shop he went off to.”
Lots of smiles and hugs ensued!
“So the gift I bought you has a warranty of 3 years, so if you’re going to break it, do it in the timescale, ok?”
Ring purchased, now to hint about asking my parents…
“Ok, are you going to ask my parents permission?”
No, what if they say no?”
“Just sing Rude by Magic to them, and run away.”
“Actually, they will probably pack my bags for you!”
This is mine and Gary’s sense of humour…
Time to hint a bit more.
“So, when you ask them, what are you going to say?”
“Do I have to ask them?”
“When are you going to do it?”
“The next time we are all going to be together is in a few weeks time. You should ask them then.”
We’re at a family wedding when Gary rushes up to me.
“I did it!”
“I hear congratulations are in order!!”
“Don’t play dumb, Gary has told us everything!!”
Lots of hugs, congratulations and champagne ensues!
“So, what did you say?”
“Well I asked them, and they said yes. I told them you forced me into proposing!”
“You did what?!”
“What did you do that for?! Now everyone will know i’m a psycho!”
“They know that anyway Sassy!”
“Plus, when I told your Dad, he just said you are your Mothers’ Daughter!”
We both laugh and drink Champagne.
Gary officially asked THE question just a few weeks later.
And, it was on a Thursday, not a Tuesday!
So there we are, our very unconventional and non romantic proposal story! I’m engaged to my Mr Perfect!
Are you engaged? How did your proposal happen?I’d love to know in the comments.