What to expect when dating a blind woman…
Men have always said that women are a pain when it comes to getting ready for a night out, so imagine the struggle the partner of a blind girl has to face on a daily basis… If you’re not sure, i’ll give you a little list 😉
*Girl* Is my hair straight? it doesn’t seem to be lying right?
*partner* There’s a flicky out bit on one side…
*Girl* Flicky out bit? Where? And what side?
*Partner* The right, no, I mean the left.
* Girl, attempting to find said sticky out bit * A bit further back.
Noo a bit further than that…
*Girl* How does my make up look?
*Partner* Yeah it looks fine…
*Girl* Fine? You mean i’ve spent all this time putting my make up on and I look fine?
*Partner* Umm I mean you look beautiful!
*Girl* Thanks, but that isn’t really what i’m looking for; is my make up smudged?
*Partner* No it’s fine.
Oh wait, actually the green seems a bit thicker on this eye…
*Girl* You mean my eye liner?
*Partner* Just a little bit on the right eye, if you just put it a bit more on the other eye in the same place it’ll be done.
*Girl* OK so I want to wear a dress, but I think it’s a bit cold.
*Partner* Why don’t you just wear a top and trousers if it’s cold?
*Girl* Because I live and die in jeans and a top, I want to wear something nice for a change!
*Partner* OK, what about the black one?
*Girl* Which black one?
I have loads of black dresses…
*Partner* The one with the longer sleeves, that way you’ll be warmer…
*Girl* Oh, I always wear that one! Plus I’m fat at the moment, so I don’t want my rolls showing!
*Partner* How many times have I told you, you aren’t fat!
*Girl* If i’m not fat, then what’s this? (Grabbing a roll of fat).
*Partner* (Ignoring her) What about this one?
*Girl* Ooh yeah, I haven’t worn that one in a long time!
*Girl* So which shoes do you think will go with my dress?
(Holding out two different pairs of shoes)
*Partner* Umm, they both go, it’s up to you love
*Girl* Yeah I know that! That’s why I picked them out,
What ones do you think I should wear?
*Partner* The sparkly black ones.
*Girl* Shall I wear my silver or black earrings?
*Partner* Black, they are pretty.
*Girl* Don’t you think i’m wearing too much black?
*Partner* Go with the silver ones then…
*Girl* Yeah I suppose, that makes sense!
*Girl* I think i’ll wear a different bag today…
*Partner* Why don’t you use the one you wear all the time?
*Girl* Well I suppose I could, but that’s black too, and I thought I should match my earrings… (Thinking deeply)
*Partner* (Trying not to lose the will to live) Yeah sure, go with the silver bag then…
*Girl* Oh, can you paint my nails for me please?
I haven’t had my nails painted in ages!
*Partner* Do I have to?
I’ve just spent ages picking out your entire outfit…
*Girl* Oh great, thanks, just because you helped to pick out my outfit, i’m not allowed to have my nails done?
I’ll remember to cash in my token next time! (Girl sulks)
*Partner* Fine, OK. I’ll paint them!
*Girl* Thank you!!! You know how much I love you right??
(Tries being mushy, making kissing noises) Come here then, let me give you a kiss!
*Partner* Can I not just paint your nails?
*Girl* (Giving him THE LOOK)
*Partner* (Gives her a chasing kiss, and heads towards the nail varnish drawer) OK, what colour do you want?
*Girl* You choose…
So gentlemen, next time you complain about your girlfriend/partner/wife taking so long to get ready, just be thankful you are not having to help her pick every thing out!
***Disclaimer, this is a tongue in cheek post, generally women have got the entire outfit and make up already planned,although they might ask you to check their hair or make up, it’s highly unlikely anyone would be asked all of these questions in the same day!
Or maybe that’s just me? 😉
***DisclaimerII Not every Visually impaired or blind girl is into any of the above, likewise they may love bags and nothing else.
***DisclaimerIII I know I was being extremely stereotypical, but i did it for the convenience of this post.
Also, I do not discriminate against a persons’ sexuality or gender.
Much love, Sassy x