Is it rude to ask for money as a wedding present?
Why it’s now socially acceptable to ask for money as a wedding present…
The simple and most straight-forward answer to that question is ‘no’.
Long gone are the days when couples would wait until they were married to move in together and then be desperately saving up to afford the household essentials. Instead, the majority of those getting married are either already currently cohabiting and have the contents of their homes established. Let’s be honest; do you really need a new kettle, toaster or a silverware set for ‘special occasions’? What if, instead, your gift list consisted of magical, memorable experiences for your and your intended to indulge in. On a side note– just imagine the Instagram-worthy pictures you would get!
The cost of weddings increases yearly. A recent survey led by Hitched <LINK> indicated that the average cost of a UK wedding is £27,161; the highest it’s ever been and up by 9.6% from 2016. Honeymoons average around £3,630, leading many couples either opting for a mini-moon or leaving their honeymoon until long after the wedding, or settling for a second-rate honeymoon. With this in mind, saving for a honeymoon as well as a wedding can be a daunting prospect. A honeymoon fund, for example, means your guests can contribute towards your honeymoon rather than giving you generic, traditional gifts that could just take up space in the cupboard.
So how does this ‘honeymoon fund”work?
In contrast to a traditional gift list, your guests will know they are gifting you a unique and dream-worthy way of giving the greatest gift of all: memories.
Breaking down a honeymoon fund into specific experiences or options will allow your guests to choose the experience that they are gifting instead of an ambiguous ‘gift fund’. Building into your list experiences that could include ‘a romantic meal’ on the beach or ‘an upgrade to your flight’ all equate to those little luxuries that will serve as a lasting memory of such a special occasion. I mean, it’s not everyday you get hitched and jet off somewhere incredible to celebrate, is it?
The awkward part: how do you ask people to donate to your honeymoon fund?
Asking outright for cash can be a wedding etiquette no-no; many can deem it offensive, whereas
offering your guests the opportunity to contribute to your honeymoon fund, could be the solution to your quandary. How you ask is crucial; worded correctly in the form of a poem or a few, subtle simple words in your invitation works perfectly. A word of caution: when asking for cash, if guests would prefer to give you cash, they will do so without you needing to request it.
Your honeymoon registry could range from upgrades to flights or accommodation, dining experiences to activities and excursions. The possibilities are endless. If your destination allows it then you can offer it. Generally, guests will find a honeymoon fund perfectly acceptable; as long as guests are aware that they helping you to achieve something specific rather than just requesting cash for cash-sake. If you do want to add a ‘cash’ option then you can do so.
Memories last a lifetime; a kettle can last a few years, whereas the memory of a sunrise safari tour in South Africa will leave you with stories to recount to your friends and family for years to come. When put like that, I know which one I would prefer. Guests would far rather you enjoyed their gift to you, knowing that when you look back on those memories, you remember who gifted them to you.
Be sure to send thank you cards, complete with a honeymoon snap and a personalised message to your guests–this approach this will see you tick every honeymoon fund etiquette box.
Of course do bare in mind that you will always have a few less tech-savvy guests attending your day, so you will still receive a few traditional gifts. After all, it’s still always fun to open up a few presents, isn’t it?
flyustothemoon.co.uk is a honeymoon registry website dedicated to helping couples create the ultimate wedding gift: an adventure of a lifetime with a little help from their wedding guests.