I’m sorry for my absence. I’ve been contemplating writing this for a while now. But i’ve been holding back.
The reason for this is that i’ve begun overcomplicating things in my own mind.

I started this blog to share with you the rollercoaster ride that seems to be my life. I wanted to share everything from the highs to the lows hopefully attempting to show that although having a disability sucks sometimes, there’s a lot in life for us all to be grateful for, and in my case, find the funny side of it all.

As more time went on I realised I didn’t just want to share my story but share other people’s stories too.
I wanted to be a platform for people to learn something new, become more open minded and even to be a resource to for those who may be seeking it.

I have a thirst for knowledge and a passion to educate and support others.I put my energy into creating content that I hoped would be of use to others, and put my own thoughts and stories on the back burner, until I thought they would be of use.
I’m open and honest on this blog and fingers crossed it’s somewhat entertaining…

But i’ve been overcomplicating things… I wanted my blog to be a resource, a platform, a network and a home to share it all.
I started my campaigns in the hopes of creating a community. I wanted to be inclusive of everyone; fromAutism to arthritis or cystic fibrosis to depression, right through to those that care for people with a disability.

My #DisabilityQ&A took off, and I was excited to be sharing peoples’ stories, and i’m extremely grateful for those of you who got involved!

I tried my best to create the same enthusiasm with my other campaigns, as well as trying to encourage those with any #Disability to get on board with no avail.
I was disheartened somewhat but I had a million and one other ideas for blog posts that I thought would be interesting and useful. So I kept going.

Blogging not only became my passion, but it became an obsession. If I wasn’t writing content I was thinking of what material to use and researched it to make sure my facts were correct.
I joined in fabulous linkys, I had a tribe and I spent all my spare time talking to bloggers, reading their awesome blogs and promoting as much as I could.

I was having the best time, I was making new friends around the globe, learning new things and achieving what I hoped with my little corner of the internet.

But then I began to overcomplicate everything.

I was in a tribe that were all on a similar level to each other, constantly supporting one another and giving continuous encouragement and praise.
It was fantastic, I couldn’t have asked for a more supportive and kind bunch of people to be around.

But the further I delved into the blogging world the more I realised how technical things got.
I was knee deep in blog posts or conversations that revolved around stats, branding and monitisation.

I became interested in raising my stats; the prospect of working with brands who could help further my campaigns, give my blog exposure and in turn become the platform I hoped it could be.I thought I could really make a difference; doing reviews, giving talks and getting more people to share their trials and triumphs.

I was eager and excited at the prospect of doing something good: exposing other campaigners and my little blog being recognised for creating a community of support and resources.

So I joined blogging groups, blogging platforms that would connect brands with bloggers and even emailed PR’s and organisations to introduce myself and explained my ambitions for the blog.

And that’s where things became complicated.

I quickly realised that I was too niche for brands, PR’s and even organisations to want to work with me.
Review opportunities came in the form of fashion, kids accessories, beauty or luxury jewellery.
These reviews were not quite what I was looking for, and the odd time I thought I could work with a brand to review things from a disability standpoint I was stopped at the first hurdle.
“5000 followers minimum to apply”

I appreciate each and every follower and reader of my blog.I want people to follow me because they have a genuine interest in my blog and my campaigns.
I’m not a parent blogger, fashion or beauty blogger.
Although I have interest in fashion and beauty i’m not going to pretend I follow the latest trends… I have little to no knowledge of these things to even warrant blogging about them.

I was also getting nowhere with contacting PR’s/ organisations via email. The few times I was lucky to get a response I was congratulated for what I was trying to achieve but ultimately they did not have the time or budget to work with me.

At this point I was surrounded by fabulous bloggers acing it with stats, brand work and even getting paid work! I couldn’t be happier for my friends,but I found it increasingly overwhelming and at points unworthy to be in their company.

I wasn’t achieving what they were.

Even the bloggers I was reaching out to for my campaigns seemed no longer interested in joining them.

I became deflated and even at times frustrated… I was trying to make my blog into a place that was more about the community than it was about me.

Even though I had blog post ideas zooming around my mind and cluttering up my drafts; I started posting less and focused more on promoting the blogs myself and others had already taken the time to write.
After a while I slowed down on the amount of linkys I joined too.
I began to notice that unless I was one of the first people to link up, my posts I pretty much got ignored.
I used to spend hours reading and commenting on blogs and even sharing them over my social media, but the less often I shared or commented I began realising that people clearly weren’t interested in my blog.
It had become a: you scratch my back, i’ll scratch yours mentality…

Aside from the few people that genuinely enjoyed reading my blog, left me meaningful comments or shared my posts my stats dropped faster than an avalanche.

At this point I was done with spreading the blog love. I put 100% effort into my posts, and I wanted nothing more than to educate people who had little to no knowledge of disabilities and be a place for those with disabilities to find support and even new ideas.

By the time I had been in hospital for a week: after breaking my leg I wasn’t even sure if I should blog about it.
I’d become so wrapped up in wanting to be a space to share knowledge, ideas and experiences I thought people wouldn’t be interested in hearing my holiday dramas.

I began my blog to share my story, yet in my mind I feel it’s become something bigger than that.
I guess that it’s because I wonder often, what makes me so special that I should spend day after day talking about myself.
What is it that makes me more interesting than any other blind or disabled person out there?

And the answer is, there isn’t.

I’m just another blind person talking about their disability.

But it’s my space.

If my little corner of the internet can educate one person or give another disabled person a someone to relate to then i’ve done my job.

Stats, brands and opportunities are great, but this is no longer my focus.
Of course if a worthwhile opportunity were to come knocking, I would grab it with both hands.
But most importantly i’m grateful for my lot, and anything else is a bonus.

“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
– Theodore Roosevelt.

10 comments on “Sorry For My Absence”

  1. Comparison absolutely is the thief of joy, I’ve been there too. As for Facebook blogging groups I think I might leave one as although they start posts with ‘I’m not judging anyone’ I often think they are, and rather than start an argument I just don’t comment.
    I cant believe you said ‘I’m just another blind person talking about their disability.’ You are inspiring and creative and caring of others with disability, trying your best to support others and raise awareness despite your own disability. Keep it up Sass xx

    • Lorraine you are far too kind! Thank you ever so much for leaving a comment, you have put a massive smile on my face!
      I know what you mean about Facebook groups, it’s a bit tough when people don’t stick to the rules! xxx

  2. I’m so sorry you’ve had such arough time, but please don’t stop writing!! I’ve felt similar recently and tired. Like you I dropped linkies and, as you say saw the consequences – a drop in stats and next to no comments. I admit I don’t read your blog often, but sometimes see it pop up on Facebook and if time have a read. Please don’t stop blogging or creating your community because people who are looking will find you and you will help/support them. I’m shocked you were told 5k followers minimum, I have more than that, and so often see bloggers reviewing amazing things day after day with less than that. I wonder where they’re registered that I’m not. It’s a vicious circle, but keep at it if you get offered something you’d like to try even if it’s not anything you thing you have knowledge about (fashion etc, as you mention). Go for it, because it might link you to someone who does need your blog’s support. I have crohns, and I occasionally write about it. When I’m in remission I don’t really look for support, but at the hint of any flare, I’m right there. I guess what I’m saying is sometimes we need to know what’s there for when we do need it, so, keep going and write about your life too (and inspire others!), and take advantage of perks and products you’d like to try, you might reach another person that way.

    Sorry for rambling!!
    Lynne x

    • Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful comment Lyn. honestly I can’t put into words how humbled I felt reading your positive and encouraging words!
      I run a Facebook group called Purple Elephant, that has become a community for those with any illness or disability. If you wanted to join, you are more than welcome!
      Thank you again for your comments! Take care xxx

  3. This resonated with me. A lot. Because I am not a parent blogger I often find myself lost in the wildnerness a bit. I don’t have a niche at all, I just love to write. I don’t want to monetise my blog, my ultimate aim is to be paid to write my opinions, that’s all I want.
    You are a great writer, you have a great blog. Just do you x

    • Thank you Rach, I appreciate your lovely comment.
      You are totally right, not having a nitch can feel a bit like you’re floating around, but as long as you are writing what you want to, and the passion is there,that’s all that really matters! 🙂 xxx

  4. As a new blogger with a broken tibia and fibula and a metal rod and 4 screws in my leg, I’m with you! Please let’s be in touch and compare notes! 😉 x

    • Hey Sarah, I hope your recovery is going well? Sorry I haven’t replied until now!i’m on Twitter if you want to chat? 🙂 xxx

  5. Blogging for you is the best way and others will enjoy it, i can assure you. And not only enjoy it but gain from it. As you know i\m having a quieter time (well on the blog front anyway) and it definitely makes me question why and why not blog at all…particularly when your so called ‘regular’ readers disappear during a quiet patch! But i’m going to carry on pootling and blogging the odd bit here and there. For me. I hope you do too. And yes the quote is SO true lovely…comparison just isn’t the way forward, there wil always be people with different priorities doing things differently.
    Sorry it’s taken me so long to comment by the way…life!

    • Thank you lovely. Sometimes self doubt can creep in, but as you said blogging for yourself is definitely the way forward 🙂 Your blogging break is completely understandable, but please don’t give it up. I love your writing style! Here’s hoping 2017 can be a good year for us both on the blogging front!
      Much love xxx

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